Another home from home

It was great to be back at Bunyan Baptist Church in Stevenage yesterday, where I served as associate minister until moving to Yardley. Although I popped back last September to lead a Bible journalling session, this was the first opportunity to be there on a Sunday and it was lovely to worship with the church family and another opportunity where I felt like I was back 'home'!

The service had a mission focus and we sang a song that I initially came across and introduced to the church during covid by Nick and Becky Drake called 'Every step'. The words of the chorus again felt quite pertinent as I make my travels during this sabbatical revisiting the people and places that have been instrumental to me on the way to where I am today:

Oh the love of God

Is with me every day

Every step I take

He will lead me on

Into His perfect plan

Walking hand in hand

It was so nice to catch up with friends I've not seen for a while and hear their stories and share mine, and to know that God is with us and leading us all on as we walk with Him. And even though we now travelling separately we have all been changed by the time we walked together. So I continue to be so very thankful for the people who I have had the privilege of journeying alongside over the years. Another very special time!

Coming back home!

Yesterday I worshipped at Kendal Road Baptist Church in Gloucester - which I initially attended whilst studying at Redcliffe College, but then remained at for a few years after whilst my children went though school. I then served the congregation as minister-in-training for my three years of ministerial formation before moving on in 2018 to my next pastorate as a newly-accredited-minister in Stevenage.

If you've been following my blog you'll know I began my sabbatical by visiting the church I grew up in. And though I was there for 33 years, and at KRBC for considerably less time, whenever I go back (and yesterday was no exception) it is like coming home. And it was extra special yesterday as there were a number of folk who were able to tell me in person how much they'd appreciated virtually "joining me" as I walked my pilgrimage. Another beautiful example of how I travelled alone, but together - friends and family and church family "with" me - which made that experience truly wonderful!

During worship we sang a song new to the fellowship and to me called "Sing wherever I go" and it starts with these words:

'All my life, all I know
God's been good, good to my soul
Mountain high, valley low
I'm gonna sing wherever I go."

And they, not surprisingly, felt rather apt! Especially as I'd found myself singing some of the time along the way whilst on pilgrimage! 

It's a great song, so if you'd like to listen to all of it follow this link: https://youtu.be/1KjFBP-5R64?si=9RxhVvPmZHaA0wdW

The minister, Steve, then unpacked 1 Kings 19 about Elijah meeting God in the silence. I took a few notes and one quote from Steve was this: "We don't need something spectacular, we need to hear from God in the silence. We need to be familiar with His voice so that we recognise His voice when He speaks." Hearing from God in the silence is a theme that has come up repeatedly through this last week in my times of study and reading, so to hear this repeated again is worthy of note and will be something I'll be continuing to ponder on in the coming weeks.

We then moved into sharing communion together and Steve began by reading Matthew 11:28-29 from the Message - which reminded me of the place I now call home, as this is YBC's verse of the year for 2025:

It was such a joy to have time to catch up with folk there who are dear dear friends. Lovely, caring and supportive folk who loved me, prayed for me, and with me, and ultimately helped to shape me into the person, and minister, I am today.  And it was also a privilege to hear from folk as they shared how life has been for them since we last met. 

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.

Philippians 1:3

And I am so thankful to God for bringing us to journey together for the time I was at the church, as member and then as minister, and how these wonderful friendships have lasted even as God has called me onwards to serve Him in other places. A very special day indeed!

Canopy challenges

Part of having a sabbatical is the opportunity to invest significant time in the relationships with family and friends that can inevitably get compromised by the shape of ministry life. 

So, last weekend, on a gloriously sunny day, I headed over to Coventry to pick up my youngest from the station before carrying on to Coombe Abbey Country Park so that we could do Go Ape together. If you don't know what Go Ape is then this video will give you a bit of an idea: https://youtu.be/roY0ELRy8m4?si=l3jTbfvRG_Zxi8B4

I've done Go Ape before, but quite a long while ago now, and it has to be said that in recent times I have struggled more with heights than I used to, though I've no idea why! So, given I'd be climbing up trees, hanging off cables and swinging off things well above the ground, I knew this adventure would be a challenge!

And I wasn't wrong!! Despite knowing I was securely attached for safety via two different cables I still really had to steel myself to step off the tree platforms at times. Though funnily enough, one of the hardest parts was climbing up the initial towers - which we had to do four different times! But the hardest of all was the Tarzan swing - which involved stepping off a platform and swinging into a cargo net! I'll hasten to add I didn't step, I sat on the edge of the platform and shuffled off, but it still took a lot of nerve!!

However, despite initially stalling at this, I overcame my fears and managed to make my way round and conquer the four courses: very wobbly, wobbly, swings and zip lines. Zip lines was the best by far - though I have discovered I have a tendency to turn round as I whizz down the cable and land rather unceremoniously on my back! 

I did find myself, at some points whilst hanging on for dear life, giving myself a good talking to - after all - I've just done a solo pilgrimage in a foreign country asking myself if "this" (hanging in a tree, swinging off a rope, balancing on a steel cable, etc.) was more scary than running down an Italian highway avoiding being runover by cars?! Sometimes I agreed with myself it was, but other times I decided it wasn't - but either way I was able to continue each time and overcome each different treetop challenge. 

I was quite relieved to get to the finish having been climbing for 3 hours at this point! But it reminded me of how I'd felt at the end of each day walking: feeling weary, but satisfied at what I'd achieved. 

However, it has to be said that the best part of the day was doing this with someone else. It was a joy to have the time to properly connect and catch up and to have such a laugh together that this time we shared was truly restorative for my soul. And I did truly appreciate the encouragement I got as we made our way round together. So it was a day I will treasure. 

But, a couple of thoughts - firstly about that being attached securely thing, but still feeling apprehensive. 

As a person of faith, I trust in the love God has for me. I know I am securely attached to Him and there's nothing I can do that can separate me from His love. Romans 8:38-39 is certain about this:  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And yet there are times when I can feel uncertain, but then even Jesus' closest friends doubted even having seen Him after His resurrection so I reckon I'm in good company:  Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Matthew 28:16-17

And this brought to mind a quote that struck me from the film 'Conclave' which I watched once I'd returned from Italy before the recent papal conclave began: "Our faith is a living thing precisely because it walks hand in hand with doubt. If there was only certainty, and if there was no doubt, there would be no mystery, and therefore no need for faith." Robert Harris.

Like the cable connections of Go Ape I can see in God's word the truths that He will be with me, that He will never let me down and His love for me endures forever. So my challenge is to keep coming back to these as sure and certain reminders when my doubts or fears threaten to hold me back from stepping out in faith.

And then secondly a thought that leads on from the first - doing something together. The thing is, sometimes it's easier to hold onto faith when we share that experience with others. I think that's a key value I find in being part of a church family, both locally and wider. We're journeying together and can encourage each other on the way and sometimes that can involve doing things that we might not otherwise have confidence to do on our own. Let's never underestimate the impact of our encouragement on others!  

We all face different challenges - probably the majority of them won't be because we've opted to climb high up in the tree canopies(!) - but whatever we face we can trust in the certainty that God's got us, and as we journey together as companions on the way, we've got each other too! 

The significance of signage

The blue and yellow waymarkers along the Via Di Francesco were so important to my pilgrimage that I brought home a little rock picked up on the way and over the past couple of days made my own waymarker as a reminder of the journey.

I've put it on a shelf next to my YBC stone where it'll catch my eye as my sabbatical continues and remind me of my precious pilgrimage.

Over the next few weeks the plan is to carry on with some focused reading. I wrote a post about this back in March if you want to know what's on my reading list: https://revalitaylor.blogspot.com/2025/03/a-little-bit-of-reading.html?m=1

In the first couple of weeks of my sabbatical I began reading a memoir entitled "Taking my God for a walk", which was about a pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I hadn't quite got to the end before leaving for Italy so I firstly finished this before starting on another of the books from the planned list. 

Currently I'm reading about the practice of Sabbath in an excellent book by Ruth Haley Barton "Embracing Rhythms of Work and Rest - From Sabbath to Sabbatical and back again."

This is a book I'm finding I can't rush through as it has such deep wisdom and much thought-provoking content, which is why I've been taking breaks to engage in a bit of arty creativity as I've designed my waymarker stone. 

I'm combining reading this book with Phil Cousineau's book "The Art of Pilgrimage".

Which is another book for savouring in short sections as it is a collection of inspirational stories, myths, parables and quotes. It's one I also began before my pilgrimage and one that came with me - though I didn't read as much as I thought I might whilst in transit - hence carrying on engaging with it now. 

I have a notebook beside me to record quotes and thoughts, and my spiritual journal to hand as well so I can capture those moments when God speaks profoundly to me thought what I'm reading. 

And that brought back to mind a conversation I had with Elsa - fellow pilgrim on the way: https://revalitaylor.blogspot.com/2025/04/day-5-over.html?m=1 She was intrigued to find out that I was writing a blog. When I shared I also journalled regularly she shared that she used to journal, but hadn't for a while but was now inspired to get back to it! 

Journalling may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's important to think about how we record and remember the ways God has spoken to us on our journeys of faith. Like my little waymarker stone, remember that during their journey through the desert, the Israelites built various altars to commemorate significant events and express their relationship with God. These altars serving as both physical structures and symbolic representations of their covenant with God, highlighting important moments in their wilderness journey. Which is a bit like some of the stone cairns I came across whilst on pilgrimage.

So now I'm wondering, apart from journals and piles of stones, what other ways might we be able to hold onto those significant moments we have with God as we journey with Him?

Packing up and unpacking: done but not yet done

The past few days exploring Rome have been really good - a welcome transition period as I think returning home straight after completing the pilgrimage could have felt too abrupt.

Having time to soak up the culture of the Colosseum, Palatine Hill, the Roman Forum and the Hadrianeum, as well as quite a few churches, was rich indeed. And knowing that some of the Roman sights would have been seen by St Paul himself as a citizen of Rome was fascinating. And while I enjoyed the plethora of cultural experiences, being surrounded by the masses of people present in the city felt like a jarring contrast to the quietness and solitude I found along the journey to Rome. 

I was able to recapture an essence of the pilgrimage this past Sunday, as apparently not satisfied with having recently walked 260km, the alarm went off early so I could go and do a 5km park walk whilst in Rome. After all, it seemed silly not to - having come all this way - and, despite exploring Rome, I have actually been missing walking on the road.

There was just something about putting on the familiar outfit from the pilgrimage - that finished only a few days previously. Before putting on my socks and shoes I felt the need to anoint my feet with olive oil as I did each day of the walk, and then, having done so, I just paused for a moment. The familiarity of my outfit, these socks, these shoes, held such a deep and profound resonance of the pilgrimage it almost took my breath away. 

I'll admit to having had a yearning in my soul for being out the trail these past few days. The business of the city and the huge crowds have felt a bit bewildering and overwhelming. Though I'll also confess that my feet have not held quite such the same sense of longing, especially as I've kept the mileage up as I've explored Rome!! But the thought of getting back to the practice of walking one step after another with no agenda except to get from the start to the finish was quite enticing, especially as I'd done a few parkruns in preparation for the pilgrimage.

I didn't know quite what to expect from the parkrun, but the course page said it would be two laps of a park so I was quite intrigued. A metro ride, and short walk later, and I wasn't disappointed. It was good to feel like I was 'out of the city' and the greenness of the park was a welcome sight. The folk at the park run were super friendly and it was good to meet some local park runners and some other park run tourists - some from as far as Australia and South Africa. 

The park run itself was lovely: sandy dusty paths, greenery and the hum of insects in the bushes on a gloriously sunny morning with bright blue sky above me - so much resonance of the days out on the trail!

Caffarella Park

Despite a bit of discomfort - the feet were definitely on the weary side - I managed my fastest park walk yet and put this down to the 'training' I've done recently🤣 I was also really happy to catch sight of a single red/white marker (sadly not blue/yellow) which also brought back great memories!

Despite the sore feet it really made me realise how much I was missing being out and about with nothing on my agenda except to get from one accommodation to the next each day - a precious moment of remembrance in the midst of all that being a tourist entails!

Then, yesterday the time came to make my departure from Italy and whilst there was a sense of readiness in my heart, as the aeroplane raced up the runway, there were tears in my eyes once again. I was ready to head home and yet...and yet, I also didn't feel quite ready to leave the experience of pilgrimage, nor a country that has stolen a piece of my heart! 

But as Tony Collins, author of 'Taking my God for a walk' concluded in his memories about his pilgrimage on the Santiago de Compostela Camino: 'Once a pilgrim, always a pilgrim. I shall return to the Way.' So I too, know that at some point I will return to 'the way', but for now this special time has reached a conclusion. In the final words of the pilgrim prayer that it felt right to pray late last night:

...I, under Your guidance, safely and unhurt, have reached the end of my journey, and strengthened with gratitude and power, secure and filled with happiness, have found my way home.

I have found my way home - the same, yet different; done, but not quite yet done! 

And it has to be said that this sense of 'not quite done' was prevalent again as the suitcase was unpacked this morning. Things that were such a familiar part of my everyday, even though for such a comparatively short time, are now no longer required in the same way. And as I sorted things out I wondered if at some point in these next few weeks something of my now pilgrim heart will respond once again to the call to walk again. To physically walk with Jesus and hopefully rediscover something of that stillness, that quiet, that peace that I discovered as I walked with Him from Assisi to Rome.

I temporarily lent my Tau cross to my little travel buddy again, but it's now back around my neck where it belongs!