Sabbatical ending...

 "A pilgrimage does not end but shifts its focus to the daily 'pilgrimage of discipleship'. ...the journey of faith is sustained by God's mercy, the witness of the saints, and the support of others."

Pope Leo

On November 17th last year I posted my first post on this blog: Sabbatical Pending... and my sabbatical seemed a long way ahead, but now my sabbatical is coming to a conclusion so here is the final post for this sabbatical and what a precious time these past 3 months have been. I am immensely grateful to my church family who released me from my usual duties and to our wonderful leadership team who have held the fort in my absence. But now I turn my thoughts to returning to role alongside entering a season of discernment about God's leading for the future as together we seek to answer the question: And now what?

Thus says the Lord: Stand at the crossroads, and look,
and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies, and walk in it.
Jeremiah 6:16

As this season focused on pilgrimage and "walking with" - having taking time to trace the pattern of God's faithfulness through my life and now, almost a decade, of being in ministry - is now ended, I shall look to carry with me the treasures of this time that will equip and enable me in my daily pilgrimage to continue to serve God well in all that He has called me to. 

Leaving the silence

After breakfast I spent the morning in the garden exploring the different places to sit. Some of them were too hot to stay for long, so I ended up on the bench I'd sat on the first evening as this was the coolest place I could find. 

I sat in the dabbled sunshine writing and thinking, and all too soon it was time for midday prayer. 

At the close of our prayer time together before lunch we prayed this prayer by Benedict of Nursia:

O gracious and holy Father,

give us wisdom to perceive you,

diligence to seek you,

patience to wait for you,

eyes to behold you,

a heart to meditate upon you,

and a life to proclaim you,

through the power of the Spirit

of Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen 

After a tasty lunch, eaten once again in silence, I returned to the garden for a short while before heading back to my car to return down the dirt track and make my way home.

My time at Glasshampton has been very tranquil and the deep and profound quiet has given me space to gather my thoughts and reflect on my sabbatical time in a very beneficial way.

Beyond the silence

I step into the silence

As voices diminish

I become attuned

To other sounds that fill the air:

Melodic birdsong, insect hum

Footstep patter, gentle breeze

Clink of cutlery, a cough - or two

Sounds that may otherwise be overlooked

Drowned out by the chatter of normal living

But, as the silence settles,

I tune into something deeper still

As I slow down

I catch up with my creator

The One waiting for me, ever long,
to lay aside the sounds of life

and listen for His precious voice.

This time at Glasshampton has been a wonderful opportunity to listen out for what God has to say to me. And I am so thankful to the Brothers at the monastery who's generous hospitality has made this experience possible.

Lost and found

In preparation for this retreat I found a walk in the locality where Glasshampton was sited just off the mid-point of a circular route. The distance was given as 5.6 km (3.5 miles) and it was suggested this would take about 1 hour 15mins. So my thinking is that I would have plenty of time to walk this and be back for midday prayer at 12.15.

Leaving Glasshampton behind me I set off around 10.30 following the red line in a clockwise direction wondering if I might be able to walk the route in reverse in the afternoon.  

It was a warm day but not as sunny as I'd thought it might be but the sandy-yellow ripening corn in the fields under the cloud-strewn sky made a pleasant start to my walk. I even found some blue and yellow markers on the way which made me smile.

Initially following the route was easy with wide paths and clear markers, but part way along I lost my way and had to double back on myself. It took me a moment or two to figure out where I'd gone wrong but I eventually found the gate where I should have gone through! 

I passed the New Inn pub (marked on the map by the black and white circle) and did think that starting and finishing there would have been nice, but given that time was pressing on I continued on my way but realised as I got to the bottom of the track that I'd driven up yesterday to get to the monastery that I wasn't going to make it all the way round in time so decided to walk back up to the drive to get to the monastery in time for prayers and then continue with the second half of the walk after lunch.

Walking up the path I passed a field full of workers gathering in spring onions - as a passer-by the smell of the onions was amazing, but for those working to harvest them all day this must have been quite overpowering.

The walk was lovely, but I think the estimate given for both the length and time was a tad ambitious! I ended up walking 5.6km just on the first half and this took me 1 hour 20mins. I know I added in the extra walk up the track (1.3km/0.8miles) which took about 15mins but still... I thankfully made it back around noon which just gave me time to freshen up before joining the brothers and guests for prayers.

After lunch I set off about 2pm to complete the second half of the loop, this time heading in a clockwise direction towards Astley where there was a slight deviation off route to visit the church there. Again the route was fairly easy to start with crossing another ripening cornfield and then heading into a small wooded area. I took a moment to take a photo of my YBC stone (yes I'm still carrying it with me!) and then carried on until I came across a small stream. I looked left and right, but couldn't see a bridge but then I spotted what looked like some rough stepping stones so I braved it across arriving with only 1 slightly damp foot (no sandwich bags this time to come to the rescue!) On making it to the otherside I realised I couldn't see any path so using some helpful branches I heaved myself up on to the bank and caught a glimpse of the sandy path beyond some undergrowth. Having clambered through that I was somewhat bemused as the path came from my right so I followed it back a short way and, low and behold, I found there was a bridge after all! Feeling rather pleased I'd made it across anyway I left the bridge behind and carried on through the wood and was rather charmed to find a random rope swing which I just had to have a little go on!

At the top of the path leading out of the wood more helpful blue and yellow markers pointed me towards the church and I stopped for a little visit. There was a polite notice asking me to take my muddy boots off as they'd got new carpets and given that I'd at least paddled with one foot I left my shoes outside and opened the old wooden door of the church and went inside.

It was rather a quaint, traditional place, but I was struck most by an unexpectedly modern stained glass window. It was rather hard to take a photo of. Below is the best I could manage and it doesn't really do it justice either! But suffice to say the afternoon sun streaming through made it look stunningly beautiful and worth a few moments contemplation. I would have loved to have found out more about it but couldn't see any information - what a shame!

Leaving the church behind I put my shoes back on and retraced my steps to continue following the route. This time I lost my way in a field of potatoes as the farmer had planted them across where the map said I should be walking. 

Skirting round the edge of the field I missed my turning and ended up looking down on where I realised I should be! So I had to retrace my steps once more. This time the route took me through a long pathway overgrown by brambles, ferns and stinging nettles which I was rather relieved to get through and back on to a gravel path. This led me beside a house and down to the road where I found the start of the track up to the monastery again. 

The loop this afternoon took me another hour and a half and I covered much the same distance as this morning meaning that, if I take off the track distance I covered twice, the total length of the loop was roughly 8.3km rather than the 5.6 I'd expected! Adding the track distance back in means that I walked about 11km (6.8 miles) in total. Nevertheless, it's been good to get out walking again, and on such a lovely day too. Even the slightly getting lost a couple of times  and having to do the walk in two halves only added to the precious time I had walking with God and chatting things over on the way.

Now, I'm just going to go to night prayer and then I'll spend a bit of time pulling my thoughts together about what I believe God has been drawing my attention to over the past three months before I head to bed. 

As this day comes towards an end it has to be said that it's been quite strange not speaking all day apart from joining in with the prayer times where we're invited to. As the external quiet has landed I've found that my own inner 'chatter' seems to have got louder so I'm having to be mindful not to let it drown out the times when God wants to communicate with me! And even though this time on retreat has been relatively short it will be strange leaving here tomorrow and returning to a much more noisy world.

Entering the silence and memories rekindled

Yesterday afternoon I made my way over to Astley in Worcestershire to begin my time of silent retreat. Driving up the long uneven farm track I arrived at Glasshampton Monastery - a rusty red brick building against the clear blue sky. Following this path felt appropriate as I drew away from the busyness of the morning and the drive over. 

Brother Micheal showed me to my room and took me on a tour of the former stables of Astley Manor, showing me the chapel, the refectory for meals, the library and the gardens. He then left me to settle in.

It has to be said that stepping into the library brought back wonderful memories of the libraries at Redcliffe College. Maybe it was the sight of the tall shelves filled with books, maybe it was the remembrance of the similar kind of quirky library spaces dotted around the college or maybe it was the particular smell of the room (not easy to describe - but oh so familiar!) - either way, in that moment the delightful memories of many hours spent reading and studying came flooding back - such a precious time.

As it was a rather hot afternoon I spent a bit of time resting in my room before joining the brothers and three other guests for evening prayers. I was struck that one of the readings for today was Matthew 11:28-30 - which felt very apt!

And there was sweet remembrance of my times at midday prayer at the friary in Plaistow as the brothers sang the hymns acapella.

As the heat of the day had abated a little after prayers I then decided to explore the gardens. I chose a bench on the edge of a little valley inhabited by tall trees and sat in the late afternoon sunshine appreciating the birdsong and gentle breeze.

After a simple supper of vegetable quiche with tomato and mozzarella salad I gave the evening over to drawing some thoughts together about 'And now what...?' for YBC. The day closed with night prayer at which point the front door of the monastery is locked and the 'Greater Silence' began. Any fans of 'Call the midwife' might recognise this term, but for those unfamiliar this is a period of quiet and silence observed after the last prayer of the night until the first morning prayer. At this point I retired to my room and after some reading I headed to bed. 

I brought a little book with me called 'Pocket prayers for Pilgrims' and read this just before turning out the light:

Lord, it is night.

The night is for stillness

Let us be still in the presence of God

It is night after a long day.

What has been done has been done;

what has not been done has not been done;

let it be.

The night is dark.

Let our fears of the darkness 

of the world and of our own lives

rest in you.

The night is quiet.

Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,

all dear to us,

and all who have no peace.

The night heralds the dawn.

Let us look expectantly to a new day,

new joys

new possibilities.

In your name we pray.

Amen

Unfortunately I woke with a headache so didn't make morning prayer at 7am, but it seems to have abated after a bit of breakfast so I'm just about to head out on a walk to spend some time with God in His beautiful creation.

 

I brought my anointing oil from my pilgrimage with me and have just put this on my feet and laced up my shoes ready to go which brought back lovely remembrances of my daily practice whilst in Italy!

And now what...?

A sabbatical is not a vacation. It is a different kind of work - it is a directed time of refreshment and restoration. It is a time for drawing closer and listening more carefully, with the intent of deeper intimacy with God. It can involve reading, writing, and wrestling in prayer - especially wrestling with the tendency to be busy, wrestling to let go, to jump off the performance-go-round, and relax.

David Alves

These past weeks have been a real blessing and a joy as I have had precious opportunities to seek God through pilgrimage, retreat, and connection and reconnection with people and places alongside reading and creativity. But as I now approach the final week of my sabbatical I'm looking forward to going to Glasshampton Monastery for a final few days of silent retreat. The plan is to use this time to reflect on the sabbatical as a whole and what I sense God has been saying to me in response to the question: 'And now what...?' Which is the question that God laid on my heart for this sabbatical time both for myself personally and also for the YBC community. 

My hope is that I will hear God clearly regarding the next steps for my own spiritual journey, and to bring my thinking together about where God is leading us as a community. 

I'd appreciate your prayers for the week ahead and if you're reading this and are a part of the YBC family, whether or not you've done this already, maybe this week particularly you too can be seeking God's heart and asking the question: And now what...? What is it that God is calling us to do or lay down? What might God be asking us to get involved with or be a part of? 

Let's seek God together, though still apart for a few days more yet, so that, as I then return as of Sunday 13th July, we'll enter into a season of discernment to help us determine as a community what it is that we feel God is leading us on to. My prayer for us all is that the Holy Spirit in and through us will light up the path ahead and reveal the direction for our next steps as God's family.