With my final breakfast over I am just about to sort out my rucksack and pack up my suitcase. Later this morning I'll be moving on to (yet) another hotel for my few days break exploring Rome now that I'm finally here. I've never stayed in quite so many hotels night after night - it's been quite an experience with some places being truly lovely and others less so!
But this time I have to move my suitcase myself - oh well - it was actually quite weird leaving my suitcase every day and heading off with just my rucksack. But it was also nice that I didn't have to worry about it and the plus side of moving on this time will be actually staying in a hotel for more than one night - I think that will feel almost luxurious!!
Once I've swapped hotels I have one last place that I want to visit as part of my pilgrimage before I make the transition to tourist!
It is going to feel a bit strange not praying the pilgrim prayer today before I leave. Even after just two weeks there has been something about the familiarity of the words and them setting the pattern for the day in committing myself and the journey ahead into God's hands.
I was so exhausted at the end of the day yesterday that even writing last night's reflection was challenging! I had intended to include the pilgrim prayer that I prayed at the Basilica, altered to the past tense, but my brain just wasn't up to it so here it is this morning instead.
- - -
Lord, who called Your servant Abraham out of the town of Ur in Chaldea, and who watched over him during his wanderings; who guided the Jewish people through the desert: I asked You to watch over Your present servant, who for love of Your name has made a pilgrimage from Assisi to Rome, following in the footsteps of St Francis:
You were for me
A companion on my journey
My guide at crossroads
My strength for when I grew weary
My fortress in danger
My resource in my wanderings
My shade in the day’s heat
The light in my darkness
A consolation when I was low in spirits
And the power behind my intention
So that I, under Your guidance, safely and unhurt, have reached the end of my journey, and strengthened with gratitude and power, secure and filled with happiness, have found my way home.
Through Jesus Christ my Lord,
Amen.
- - -
When I went into the chapel yesterday I put my Testamonium and Credenziale on the red velvet kneeler in front of me and sat there in the quiet and as I prayed the prayer above I'll admit there were tears: of relief, of amazement, of joy - just raw emotion after a journey that has just been incredible!
There's a song by Matt Redman called 'Never Once' which we sang at church just before my sabbatical began at the beginning of April and the lyrics have rung so true for me these past days:
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once - did I ever walk alone! What a truth to hold on to as I continue my walk with the One who always walks with me, and carries me when I need it the most:
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4
This pilgrimage has been a long time in preparation and somehow even though the days and the walking felt long, in that moment suddenly it was all over and it all felt rather overwhelming.
And as I sat at breakfast this morning, in the same hotel I was in only 18 days ago, it was surreal! And I 'almost' wished this was the beginning again rather than the end. I think my feet might have something to say about that - my heart holds a yearning - for the pathways, for the vistas, for the simple intention of travelling from one place to another. I think I'm suffering from a case of wanderlust!! Maybe I need to be planning another pilgrimage...?!
But as I said - one more thing to be doing today to officially conclude this one so I'd better get my luggage sorted and change accommodations one final time!
